My Dating Profile.

There is nothing better in life than taking long walks on short piers during a hurricane.
I take myself very seriously and laughing is ridiculous. 
Au contraire, I use any excuse to dress up like a moron and make people laugh with my array of multi-colored wigs.  
I have no sense of direction and hence, my moral compass may be a bit askance.
I received my B.F.A from NYU's Tisch School of the Arts when I was twenty (cum laude....I love Latin).
I then moved to Los Angeles to pursue my passion for comedy, acting and writing.  Thereafter, I went to law school because I like initials after my surname and I was tired of being the outcast compared to my erudite family.  I took great pride in adorning my fuzzy tiger slippers to class daily and I was a professional notetaker.  I worked in criminal prosectuion in LA...but I decided it was not for me when all I could think about was wishing I was "Ally McBeal " (except I eat....celery only). 
I have lived in Amsterdam, Sweden and London studying dance, theatre and living life.
I also travelled around the world on "Semester at Sea" in college.  As a kid, I spent my summers in boarding schools, tennis camp and on the ocean in Connecticut.
Since I love the water so much, I am convinced I was a mermaid
in one of my many past lives....I was also a cat named Fluffy.,...kidding of course...I am a dog person.
Sports are my life.  I was a cross-country runner at NYU and I was captain of three varsity sports in high school (Cross-country, Skiing and Tennis).  I have completed three LA Marathons without ever training a single day for them (4:30 time).  I thrive on a challenge.  I jumped out of an airplane called "The Caribou" last July 4th dressed up as Uncle Sam.
I speak four languages and I love learning about other cultures.   I am blessed with the best family in the world and in my objective and clearly unbiased humble opinion, my dog (a Puggle named Red after the Red Sox) is the cutest dog in the universe. 
Family is extremely important to me and I am blessed with a pretty awesome one.
I am not particularly looking for anything....other than the perfect man.   Is that too tall of an order!?  My magic eightball said "It is decidedly so."  I make every important decision in my life based upon a Jamaican psychic 1-900 hotline at the witching hour. If you're not a fire sign, I don't think we will have anything to talk about.   If you cannot figure out that I am being facetious, we are probably not going to elope to the Cayman Islands. 
Oh, a pet peeve of mine is when people write "LOL" and other absurd acronyms.  FML.   If you're a gentleman who knows the rules of etiquette (which can be found at Brooks Brothers) and who knows who Emily Post is, we may get along swimmingly (and in the ocean).  If you have an erroneous, egotistical assumption that my interest is piqued by mundane questions such as:  "Hey, how are you?"  or "What do you like to do for fun?" please reserve said banal inquiries for Miss Vanilla, not Miss Strawberry Swirl. 
Alas, please forgive me if I take a while in responding.  I intentionally still have a flip phone from the 90's  (Marty McFly calls me daily). However, I pride myself on not being constantly attached to my phone, texting, f-booking, etcetera.   I prefer communication via carrier pigeon or a white stallion with my Prince arriving on it with dandelions and other weeds that he picked along the way pour moi. 
I like jade, as a healing stone, not as a personality trait.
I take five minutes to get ready, despise shopping and all designer hand-bags are a colossal waste of space. 
Yes, what I wrote is true.